A poem in words pictures and film.
I often wander the woods near my home. Its a helpful place to go when I have a dilemma. The woods has lots of useful information to share if you know how to find it, if you listen , if you learn how to look for it , if you ask and it feels like sharing with you.
Its part of how I work with people in the wild wisdom I offer. Its a way of reconnecting to our selves as part of nature and a way of remembering how we used to know.
Its often a case of paying attention and letting your self be guided by the other than human. Sometimes its a case of wandering with a question in mind and seeing what arises as you go. What you encounter as you walk, what you see that might have meaning for you. Sometimes its about sitting still and not thinking at all.
As we have time now in lockdown, as 2020 takes a turn in an unanticipated direction, amidst the chaos and crisis its really important to allow yourself to stop . To slow down . To ground.
For those who can get out into nature in a garden , for a walk – now is a great time to bring in awareness of the other around you . For those who can not go out it is still possible to pay attention and notice what is occurring around and within you at this time .
To hear what your inner-self may be asking or needing from you .
To listen and hear what the land may be saying . The birds . The insects. The rocks. What wisdom do these others have for us if we stop to pay a little more attention?
When our connection to each other is being reduced physically- what does this offer us in extending our connection to other aspects of nature ?
How can a more tactile relationship with leaves and moss and stone alleviate our lack of physical closeness?
What tiny wonders can we appreciate in our living spaces ? the warm sun through the window ; how does that feel if we let it in ?
The breeze from an open door ?
The soft touch of a favourite blanket or jumper ?
How can we invite our senses and our tactile natures to be comforted and stimulated where physical contact may not be possible for some of us ?
Can we extend our contact to the other than human and through this enter a richer , deeper sense of connectedness and wellbeing ?
What ways do we have to meet our need for comfort when the usual ways are no longer available?
I am used to not having physical contact , for numerous reasons- that doesn’t mean I don’t miss it.
I have always gone to the land for comfort from being a child – it has always been my go to place.
It is always there . It is always waiting . It is always listening.
And I wonder how many will take the opportunity in these difficult times to turn back to the earth ? How many will remember earth as kin ? How many will seek out natures comfort?
How can we remain in touch with ourselves and our connections between ourselves and other at a time of separation and social isolation?
It feels like an invitation to recognise our non human connections- to remember that we are never truly alone. That we are always held in an interconnected web of life by numerous beings .
If we can allow ourselves not to limit the notion of togetherness to only people , we can find our way through loneliness and see and feel our interconnectedness to all of life’s sentient nature.
Your home is a being – spend time with it – ask it what it needs.
Your house plants are beings – get to know them – sing to them – spend time with them.
Listen to the birds – let yourself hear their conversations- what are they saying to one another ? This can be a fun conversation to have with children . A little bit of imagination and creative play .
Allow these little bits of time connecting to the other than human to flow into inspiration for stories , poems , pictures , projects .
In such an anxious time for many its the little pockets of whimsy and curiosity, the tiny moments of fun , the little ways of letting go of the usual “rules” that open up little doors to nourishing spaces. To new energies of hope and comfort.
We may not be able to go far . But the world is always here with you .
Find small ways of letting its beauty in.
Allow its presence to be with you , to hold you , to nourish you .
You are never truly alone. Nature is with you, always.
I am sat in my garden admiring the stillness and the warm glow of the rising sun as it peers over my fence and illuminates the lemon balm.
The sky is azure blue and cloudless and I sit in my hammock as the East is ablaze with a full round sun , blinding to gaze upon.
I am sitting with polarities. The polarity between grace and rage in these turbulent times . I am aware that I am aching to connect.
What I miss is connection. Connection with depth. The rich soul depth of true contact with another being.
I swim in rich internal pools of wonder and longing , naive and guileless, full of childlike wonder and innocence. I marvel at newly spun webs on the ash , the filaments of rainbow light that appear through cracks as I squint my eyes.
I am flighty and skittish – easily spooked. A foal finding her legs. I am often clumsy in the way I take to this body and its place on the earth. I often stumble about until something clicks and I can prance and throw my head as I skip and frolick , jerkily moving more life into my body and my limbs .Free yet contained and constrained by the physical limitations, a part of me confused as to why I can only expand to fill up so much space.
I can not be everywhere as I wish to be. I cannot fully touch the all that is . I can only anchor in a small part of this universe and it feels a little … uncomfortable …uncertain.
I am not sure if I like it or care for it much . It is alien to a part of me that has been to the sun and knows the cosmos as a brother. I feel estranged and forgotten and abandoned down here – where are they ?
They have left me with friends they say;
“With the trees and with mountain, with forrest and with hill
They will look after you.
With flowers and river and ocean, they will comfort you
With wind and with rain and with fire, they will welcome you, nourish you, revive you” they say , but still i am lost and my heart aches for the stars that are my home.
In the stillness of morning before the raucus caw of gul and crow and the quiet song of the morning birds, I hear the static of the atmoshpere warming as the Sun ascends on the horizon. I hear the fizz of atoms heating up. I feel the energetic shift from cool still night to dawning day .
I hear it crackle imperceptibly all around me . It’s this invisible sound that stirs and wakes my sleeping body each new day. Its magnetic pull that lulls me from the dream of sleep to the lucidity of wakefullness.
It leaves a heaviness , a sadness , of a soul returned to its box . I try not to let this realisation dampen my day but it feels like dead weight i can not bear to carry.
I look up and remember the sun , lazily surfacing over the rooftops and feel it lighten my being . I feel the joy and energy of life in my heart. Excitement and possibilities come to my window and invite me to play.
And I sit between the ache of longing for what cannot be and the joy of what can be created.
I sit between the darkness and the dawn wishing to be lifted back into the sun
Back into the earth
Back into the world
Back into life
And i carry with me both joy and sorrow
Belonging and loss
Fire and water
Strength and tenderness
Fear and courage
Hope and hopelessness
Grace and rage
And i take each day as it comes.
Touching into painful places ;I nourish them with warmth and light, courage and conviction, acceptance of what is.
Inhaling possibility, exhaling all that is done and gone.
One day at a time.
One step at a time.
One breath at a time.
Spending time in nature is not only good for our mental and physical wellbeing , its good for our soul. We were created to live in harmony with the natural world not to be seperated from it.
When you reconnect to this earth you belong too , you reconnect to a lost part of your own being.
Regular time spent engaging with the wildness of nature , observing its cycles , noting the effects of the weather , learning the cycles of growth and decay – puts you in touch with a much wider circle of life – it brings a greater understanding of our own innate being.
It allows you to become aquatinted with other. That which is other than human and to see how we are deeply interconnected to a wider web of living and life .
You begin to notice the similarities and differences in being and realise how diverse this marvellous creation called Earth, really is.
Thats why I trained as a Wild Therapist.
For me there is something that happens when we take healing connection outside and allow nature to become part of the process. Something profound takes place. Sometimes obvious , sometimes much more subtle – but things always move and shift.
Perspectives change. However temporarily. Room gets made for new connections. Space is created for exploration and enquiry , curiosity and playfulness.
We allow ourselves to drop deeper , tensions abate , breathing deepens , even in our raw edges and painful places we feel held by an invisible love.
A love we may not know yet. A love we may find hard to bare. But it is there.
The love from nature. Silently waiting for us to reach out to it .
Patiently waiting for us all to come home.
If you would like to explore this healing connection with nature in a therapeutic capacity contact Alexa at firstname.lastname@example.org or look at the Wild Wisdom page for more information.
A few months ago , back in the summer , the news was filled with the stories of the fires raging in the Amazon. Considered to be the lungs of the earth.
As more of the earth is being ravaged , we are experiencing alarming rates of species decline and extinction , loss of habitat , a decrease in bio diversity and as a changing climate creates more environmental uncertainty , world leaders feel unmoved to act in any meaningful capacity.
In truth the Amazon was not the only forest burning. There were bush fires raging across the globe due to drought , bad land management and will-full and deliberate slash and burn policies to clear land for agriculture, with no thought for the consequences. The recent bush fires claiming Australia bring the reality of our current crisis into sharp focus.
Our beautiful Earth is ruined. Her losses mount up day by day . The land erosion, the air & water pollution , the species extinction . By disconnecting the indigenous peoples from their lands , their cultures , their position of caretakers of the lands they were once custodians of , a great deal of important knowledge has been ignored. About maintaining balance in our world , about reciprocal relationship and interconnectedness . About taking only what we need and honouring the beings we share this Earth with for what they offer us in order for us to survive.
Capitalism took over and now we are reaping what we have sown . Whilst many cultures in all places this has happened , have been slowly re-building and re-generating their ancient wisdom and piecing together lost knowledge, adapting and seeking new ways to revive the old ways , change is slow to come. As a species , humans have lost their place in the natural world and everything has suffered as a result.
It leaves many of us overwhelmed. Anxious. Afraid for the future of our children and grand children. It leaves us numb and apathetic. It brings some of us waves of hope that we can change our current trajectory , followed by waves of despair when we realise just how much work there is yet to be done . Even if we collectively make a radical shift and did all the things we can possibly do right now to make the changes necessary – there is no guarantee it will make any difference. And I know many people , who have dedicated their lives to the cause of making positive changes to save this precious Earth , are themselves doubtful. We are facing difficult ,turbulent and challenging times ahead.
But there is always hope.
The solution for many is to fall in love again with the Earth. With our connection to each other. To land ,to place, to all the beings we live with; plant , animal , insect, fish, mountain ,river ,stone. What I call Landcestors. To remember them as kin. To re-kin-dle our relationship to life. Even if only to tend to the grieving and honouring of all that’s been lost and all that is dying. Even if only to make the most of what remains and to keep living and keep pushing for change. Because it matters and it might make a difference after all.
It was as I watched the Amazon burn and felt rather helpless to do anything useful to change things , that I felt inspired to find a creative response to share the experience. I was not the only one feeling the grief and the rage of living on a planet where people prioritise profit above life.
I wrote a single line and could write no more. I decided to share it on Facebook and Instagram and invite others to add their own verse. I collated each of them in the order I discovered them on the feeds and the result was a beautiful co -created prayer , an offering to the other than human , an acknowledgement of the situation , a healing balm.
This poem became a ritual for me for several days – each day I would offer a new verse to the world and once all contributions had been made – I went out into a wild place and performed the whole piece to the land. I offered the sorrow and the hopes.
And so here it is. With much appreciation and gratitude to the contributors – D.A.Tarot , Peter Yanowski , Soul Flower Sharon , Sarah Fay Taylor (Roots and Resonance ), Tracey Dean and Sharon Murphy.
Love song to a dying world
Today I’ll walk amongst the trees that aren’t on fire
to feel the presence of natures wisdom
and taste the charred messages
from this ancient kingdom.
Touching one tree
connecting to all
our roots go deep;
holding one another
we feel it all.
They in turn feel our love
and I allow my heart to open
and my healing love to flow
as I hold tightly to a vision
of the world remembering.
With desire to learn
and not witness humanity dissolve.
The forest cries out choked,
as feather meets ash ,fur and flesh
cleaved into the waters burning orange ,
as fire goes into spirit…
A stalking predator,
padding into the Throne Room of The Misguided,
walks beside me.
I will call out to the animals, the birds, the insects,
all the creatures who call to my soul asking… why?
what have we done?
We love you all unconditionally, can you love us this way too ?
Remember you are one of us ?
You don’t have to go far to look for the medicine you need, its often right on your door step ,or in your garden. Its in those flowers that keep catching your eye and those trees you keep being drawn to sit beneath .
It’s in those plants in fields you dismiss as weeds and in the energy of the woodland or moorland you are drawn to visit .
I have always had a connection with trees and plants long before I trained as an essence practitioner , learning to tune into the needs of others to discern the essences that can best support them come back to balance .
I’m often suddenly drawn on a whim ( though not by accident ! ) to create an essence that helps address a particular state I happen to be experiencing. I’ll have got stuck usually and be lost as to how I can move forward so I turn to the nature kingdom and my guides and ask if there is an essence I can take to help . Sometimes the reply will be to make one as the one I need doesn’t exist .
Last Autumn Equinox I was guided to make an essence from the energy of this time of transition, in my own garden. The process actually started two days before the equinox itself but it was part of the alchemy of the essence .
It was a windy tempestuous day full of sun then rain and wind and hail and cloud then blue skies . I was given a process to follow and I did . I wasn’t even sure at first what it was for or if it would “work”, but those intentions became clear as the making unfolded.
The next day was so still even the clouds didn’t move . No leaves moved . No breeze blew.No sounds in the space at all . All the chaos of the day before had dropped into absolute calm. And I sat hearing the traffic around me ,the turbulence of the world out side my garden and marvelled at the stillness , presence and calm within it .
As time passed and I noted the subtle signs of the environment around me , the messages of the energy of the space and it became clear the essence is to support us find calm in chaos , balance in turbulent times , our center when we are scattered.
It’s medicine from the Earth. She has all you need to heal .
I have used this essence numerous times when things seem to be moving too fast or become too hectic. It helps to settle and bring inner calm and a centred space , clearing confusion and helping bring clarity. Its supportive during seasonal transitions or when there is a shift into rapid movement that can overwhelm or disorient us.
We can learn so much from our world if we take time to listen and follow our inner prompts .
Sometimes in the process of change we hit the floor.
That’s not a euphemism, I mean sometimes we actually end up lying in a shaking , quivering heap on the floor unable to stop crying, unable to catch our breath , all alone and wondering how the fuck we get back up again .
How many more times do we have to fall to bits? How long till the next wave hits and wrecks our ship?
In recent times , I expect many have had this happen in seemingly endless waves , as more and more is being confronted . As more and more is being addressed personally and collectively.
We thought we’d seen the end of it – but one last bastard thing tried to kill us ,we thought we had had enough of this shit already , but apparently not .
Life had other plans for us .
And before the stuff we knew we needed could be let in – everything that we knew we didn’t need had to go .
Whether we liked it or not we either jumped in or we were pushed to face what we had been putting off.
What kept us so scared and frightened of doing it? what kept us clinging in fear? Our own fear of change .
But let go we did and….
Once we made it to the other side we saw it was actually not the awful, terrible thing we thought it was going to be.
What did we wait so long for ? Why did we struggle so much ? Why did we keep resisting what we knew needed to happen?
We waited because we needed to feel aligned with-in with what we were bringing out. We needed time to check in, make sure, double check , cover old ground , weed out the last bits and properly clear the ground.
We needed to grieve our losses and take comfort in our gains and in what remains.
Its been tough for lots of us one way or another.
Turns out this year has been a massive clear out of old baggage for the last time . A clean sweep. The loss of all that we really do not need anymore . Friendships , jobs , relationships . If it wasn’t helping it was hindering and won’t be coming back.
Big Karma has been clearing if you like. Its been a chance to say ‘nope, not doing that anymore , I want something different” and the cosmic back drop has been assisting us collectively to do this.
Dare we dream a new life into being collectively? Dare we rewrite the narrative , tear up the old and try something radically different ?
Dare we create a future where we survive and thrive in a more co-operative and mutually respectful society ?
Something better is coming our way – something new. Something needed. Something necessary for our future survival . Something new for Earth.
It is possible – the end of the old is coming – there will be a shift – a paradigm shift – it will take place . It is already happening.
What comes after that though is up to us – its dependant on the foundations we choose to lay . Do we take the opportunity to learn from the past and do it differently this time ?
I believe we will. We will sow the seeds in the ashes of whats left and something new will come . A new time of redressing the balance.
As the old celtic year threshold has been crossed and we walk through the veil between the old and the new year to come – we are in a place of either letting go and dying to the old or in a process of transforming and potentising whatever it is we wish to bring forth.
Can you feel it ?
Potent is definitely the energy of this time of year for me. Its a cauldron of energies mingling , mixing under the heat of the fire – distilling , condensing , brewing , alchemising .
I can feel the power of it as it bubbles away – waiting. Waiting for the perfect moment for it to be done. For the elixir to be ready to bring forth new beginnings, new life , new projects , new ventures.
Its been brewing for aeons. We have had to be patient. To wait. To stir and sit and test and taste the potion we have been concocting.
Tapping into a primordial , timeless space of creation – we begin at what appears to be the end . In a void . In darkness.
In the deep womb like cauldron of potential the sparks of atoms combining into form , take shape.
What are you alchemising? Transforming? Watching and waiting patiently to bring into being ?
What will you choose to create in the New Year to come ? what spark of light will you bring forth from the darkness to light up the world at the time of Winter Solstice – to carry through the next cycle of the seasonal year?
Its a time of deep resting , going within , travelling inward to receive and retrieve your dreams and visions.
Enjoy some stillness, slow down a little and allow yourself the opportunity to just be .
Enjoy the dark. Enjoy the quiet. Enjoy the pause. Enjoy the deep exhale as life breathes out and lets go before the next breath in.
In the darkness , life is dreaming with you.
Dream big. Bring forth a dream worthy of your power. Worthy of your best efforts. Worthy of the transformational shifts from what was to what will be.
For the benefit of all.
A new story for the earth is waiting to be dreamed into being . What thread will you bring to this Great Reweaving ?
What will you choose to be ? To do? To become ?
Take your time. Go gently.
Take care x
They asked me how I knew , if no one taught me ?
Simple , I said.
to the whispers of the wind.
the flight of birds.
the patterns of the weather
And the seasons.
I followed the rivers flow.
I noticed how the animals moved.
I paid attention to the trees.
I felt the changes
in the air
and the earth
Beneath my feet.
I remembered my dreams
And took notice of my visions .
I spoke to the landscape, to the old ones of the forests and wild spaces.
I heard the world
speaking to me
in a thousand different voices
Copyright The Well of Belonging
This is part 2 of my Poem Initiation Embodied.
Where the first part of this journey took place after Samhain – this second part followed naturally from it , aligned with the theme of the winter solstice – that of returning from the dissolution of death to conception – to the first spark of light and life after experiencing the transformation of ‘death’ – as I journeyed through the layers that keep me from deeply embodied presence, until I reached the ‘void’ – a timeless place where all is , and all is yet to be . In the ‘before’ state of becoming.
Becoming – Initiation part 2
Entering the void ,
The darkness of becoming.
The stillness of being
The void of all potential.
The potential of everything.
The potential of nothingness.
Duality- all are both paradox.
The threshold takes me
into the realm of the dark-mother.
The realm of initiation by death,
The death of becoming,
The death of being ,
The death of separation
and through into
The initiation of unity.
The all that is before it becomes.
I approach the threshold of re-birth,
the light of conception.
All that is forming before we become,
Forming into matter but not yet matter.
I am not … yet,
But I am beginning…
In this space , this vastness
In the womb of the mother,
I know nothing
Stars and atoms ,
The stillness of being
I am about to become…….
The me that is ‘I’ has no consciousness,
and yet ,
I am aware.
Distilling essential wisdom
From universal truths.
I am creation , creator and created.
I must fathom a form
from infinite possibilities
choose never to exist at all.
(All words copyright The Well of Belonging 2018)
Embodiment requires you to drop out of the head space ,the place of thinking and judging, observing and questioning, answering and processing external stimuli.
It requires you to drop down from the mind space and in to the physical space of the body you inhabit, the space of feeling and sensing. We can often believe we are in this place as it feels impossible to conceive that we are in fact existing outside of ourselves , in our thinking , in our heads , separated from our bodies by our minds.
I recently found a space , over a weekend , to be completely still for a prolonged period of time and in this time I journeyed inwards. It was a spontaneous decision that arose from wondering ‘what happens if I choose to do absolutely nothing ?’ So I followed the impulse.
I lay down and did nothing but consciously bring myself and my attention into my body. For several hours I came back into myself .
For the first time in nearly 2 decades I experienced a profound sense of contentment , a long forgotten yet familiar experience of oneness with myself and my environment. An echo of a memory of womblike safety and comfort . Nothing required of me , except to be . A blissfully euphoric experience.
I encountered many profound realisations in this place that I continued to process for several days afterwards – most notably my desire to return to that state and live within it permanently – followed by another realisation that it is not a state we can inhabit all the time in this world . There is too much going on. But it is a place we can visit and restore ourselves in from time to time .
On the one hand this was a very easy journey to make in and of itself , however its been years of work to arrive at a point where it became possible. The conditions just happened to be the right ones .
So I share with you here my journey , my Embodied Initiation. The poem is in 2 parts . The second part, Entering The Void will follow in my next blog .
Initiation Embodied- part 1
I drop down , down from the mind space ,
down ,down, down ,into the body space
and meet the numb indifference,
the pain, the anger, the sadness, the rage,
The fear, the anxiety, the empty spaces where ‘I’ used to be.
The hollows where ‘I’ used to feel .
The absences where ‘I’
I sense the breaks , the fractures, the rips in the fabric of my being and
I follow the painful and uncomfortable sensations;
The awkwardness, the restlessness,
the bruising and the stitches.
The aching and the cramping,
the heaviness and the stiffness.
The conflicting need to run and be motionless,
petrification and endless turmoil; flowing in,
only to be catapulted out again in fear,
in anxiety , in shock.
In shame , in guilt, in bitterness,
Back and forth between body and mind
I can anchor a sense of safety in myself.
I can find the part of me that is always standing strong .
Unshakable and present.
Until I trust this part is here for me.
Until it has proven itself to me a thousand times
and never let me down.
I keep coming back to myself , until all is well
and then I drop down.
Down , down ,down into the body
that I used to know;
that I used to feel;
That I used to love,
before it was broken.
And I drop down deeper ,
under the skin.
Into the abyss.
And enter the void.
(All words and image copyright The Well of Belonging 2018.)
I haven’t felt compelled to write a blog post for quite a while as I’ve been focusing my energy else where , but with the season shifting to Autumn and the approach of Samhain , a time when the veils between worlds thins and we connect in with our ancestors I felt it time to offer another poem and my newest Otherworldly Art creation.
I’m reminded of my connection to the earth , her cycles and seasons , her elements and her nature regularly. The Goddess comes in many forms and many guises to many people . I often wonder who else out there is aware of her presence in their daily lives – who else catches her out of the corner of their eye when walking the woods or strolling along the hills. Who else feels her presence within them and around them in times of need . Who else hears her calling.
Do you see her
Amongst the trees ?
Her skirts that stir the gentle breeze.
Her light reflected all around.
Her footsteps woven in the ground.
Do you hear her
Upon the hill?
In whispers, when the mind is still,
The calling forth of voice in song,
That speaks of where the heart belongs .
Do you feel her
Along the shore ?
of ebbing, flowing seas that roar,
As tidal forces kiss the earth.
As life brings forth more life
Do you know her
Amongst the flames ?
Of hearth fires lit
And ashes claimed
Of light in darkness,
The pathway shown,
Within the embers gentle glow .
Do you see her
In your own eyes?
In winter boughs
And summer skies .
In autumn leaf,
And springs frost thawed.
In things that fly and swim and crawl.
In loves great loss
And deaths embrace,
In cruel moments snatched by fate.
In tempers frayed and words miss spoken.
In homes abandoned.
In half seen glimpses
of time to come.
In words of grace
And welcomes home.
In starlit black
And blinding sun.
In deaths rebirth as life’s begun.
Do you see her
Amongst the trees ?
Her skirts that stir the gentle breeze.
Her light reflected all around .
Her footsteps woven in the ground.
Having had a short break from the computer to gather myself in and do some inner work to bring myself back to centre , I thought I’d share another of the artworks I created as part of the Journey cards.
This one , as the name suggests, holds the energy of the centre of the Sacred space, the place where all things meet in balance ,where all is connected and held in love awaiting the right time for its potential to become manifest . It is the space between the spaces, where all things come from and to which all is returned. In the medicine wheel it represents the element of ether , the place of spirit. A place of stillness and paradoxically movement from within.
I often visualise it as a cauldron with all the other elements combining to create a potent potion , the brew of inspiration that will bring forth new ideas and new perspectives or offer a space to drink of the healing medicine contained within it. A medicine that takes us on a journey, to a timeless place of limitless possibilities and allows us to glimpse the threads of the web we are weaving our lives upon. Where we enter the void of beginning and ending, dying and being reborn , in each moment , over and over again.
This is one of my favourite images, I find it very powerful and evocative for a number of reasons , non of which I am able to share.
Some of what we are shown and taught by our guides is not for others to know. Its is for us to keep and work with as we reclaim our inner power . To tell all abroad to others is at times to diminish the energy and medicine of what one has learned. Its called The Sacred Mystery for a reason xx