A poem in words pictures and film.
I often wander the woods near my home. Its a helpful place to go when I have a dilemma. The woods has lots of useful information to share if you know how to find it, if you listen , if you learn how to look for it , if you ask and it feels like sharing with you.
Its part of how I work with people in the wild wisdom I offer. Its a way of reconnecting to our selves as part of nature and a way of remembering how we used to know.
Its often a case of paying attention and letting your self be guided by the other than human. Sometimes its a case of wandering with a question in mind and seeing what arises as you go. What you encounter as you walk, what you see that might have meaning for you. Sometimes its about sitting still and not thinking at all.
As we have time now in lockdown, as 2020 takes a turn in an unanticipated direction, amidst the chaos and crisis its really important to allow yourself to stop . To slow down . To ground.
For those who can get out into nature in a garden , for a walk – now is a great time to bring in awareness of the other around you . For those who can not go out it is still possible to pay attention and notice what is occurring around and within you at this time .
To hear what your inner-self may be asking or needing from you .
To listen and hear what the land may be saying . The birds . The insects. The rocks. What wisdom do these others have for us if we stop to pay a little more attention?
When our connection to each other is being reduced physically- what does this offer us in extending our connection to other aspects of nature ?
How can a more tactile relationship with leaves and moss and stone alleviate our lack of physical closeness?
What tiny wonders can we appreciate in our living spaces ? the warm sun through the window ; how does that feel if we let it in ?
The breeze from an open door ?
The soft touch of a favourite blanket or jumper ?
How can we invite our senses and our tactile natures to be comforted and stimulated where physical contact may not be possible for some of us ?
Can we extend our contact to the other than human and through this enter a richer , deeper sense of connectedness and wellbeing ?
What ways do we have to meet our need for comfort when the usual ways are no longer available?
I am used to not having physical contact , for numerous reasons- that doesn’t mean I don’t miss it.
I have always gone to the land for comfort from being a child – it has always been my go to place.
It is always there . It is always waiting . It is always listening.
And I wonder how many will take the opportunity in these difficult times to turn back to the earth ? How many will remember earth as kin ? How many will seek out natures comfort?
How can we remain in touch with ourselves and our connections between ourselves and other at a time of separation and social isolation?
It feels like an invitation to recognise our non human connections- to remember that we are never truly alone. That we are always held in an interconnected web of life by numerous beings .
If we can allow ourselves not to limit the notion of togetherness to only people , we can find our way through loneliness and see and feel our interconnectedness to all of life’s sentient nature.
Your home is a being – spend time with it – ask it what it needs.
Your house plants are beings – get to know them – sing to them – spend time with them.
Listen to the birds – let yourself hear their conversations- what are they saying to one another ? This can be a fun conversation to have with children . A little bit of imagination and creative play .
Allow these little bits of time connecting to the other than human to flow into inspiration for stories , poems , pictures , projects .
In such an anxious time for many its the little pockets of whimsy and curiosity, the tiny moments of fun , the little ways of letting go of the usual “rules” that open up little doors to nourishing spaces. To new energies of hope and comfort.
We may not be able to go far . But the world is always here with you .
Find small ways of letting its beauty in.
Allow its presence to be with you , to hold you , to nourish you .
You are never truly alone. Nature is with you, always.
I am sat in my garden admiring the stillness and the warm glow of the rising sun as it peers over my fence and illuminates the lemon balm.
The sky is azure blue and cloudless and I sit in my hammock as the East is ablaze with a full round sun , blinding to gaze upon.
I am sitting with polarities. The polarity between grace and rage in these turbulent times . I am aware that I am aching to connect.
What I miss is connection. Connection with depth. The rich soul depth of true contact with another being.
I swim in rich internal pools of wonder and longing , naive and guileless, full of childlike wonder and innocence. I marvel at newly spun webs on the ash , the filaments of rainbow light that appear through cracks as I squint my eyes.
I am flighty and skittish – easily spooked. A foal finding her legs. I am often clumsy in the way I take to this body and its place on the earth. I often stumble about until something clicks and I can prance and throw my head as I skip and frolick , jerkily moving more life into my body and my limbs .Free yet contained and constrained by the physical limitations, a part of me confused as to why I can only expand to fill up so much space.
I can not be everywhere as I wish to be. I cannot fully touch the all that is . I can only anchor in a small part of this universe and it feels a little … uncomfortable …uncertain.
I am not sure if I like it or care for it much . It is alien to a part of me that has been to the sun and knows the cosmos as a brother. I feel estranged and forgotten and abandoned down here – where are they ?
They have left me with friends they say;
“With the trees and with mountain, with forrest and with hill
They will look after you.
With flowers and river and ocean, they will comfort you
With wind and with rain and with fire, they will welcome you, nourish you, revive you” they say , but still i am lost and my heart aches for the stars that are my home.
In the stillness of morning before the raucus caw of gul and crow and the quiet song of the morning birds, I hear the static of the atmoshpere warming as the Sun ascends on the horizon. I hear the fizz of atoms heating up. I feel the energetic shift from cool still night to dawning day .
I hear it crackle imperceptibly all around me . It’s this invisible sound that stirs and wakes my sleeping body each new day. Its magnetic pull that lulls me from the dream of sleep to the lucidity of wakefullness.
It leaves a heaviness , a sadness , of a soul returned to its box . I try not to let this realisation dampen my day but it feels like dead weight i can not bear to carry.
I look up and remember the sun , lazily surfacing over the rooftops and feel it lighten my being . I feel the joy and energy of life in my heart. Excitement and possibilities come to my window and invite me to play.
And I sit between the ache of longing for what cannot be and the joy of what can be created.
I sit between the darkness and the dawn wishing to be lifted back into the sun
Back into the earth
Back into the world
Back into life
And i carry with me both joy and sorrow
Belonging and loss
Fire and water
Strength and tenderness
Fear and courage
Hope and hopelessness
Grace and rage
And i take each day as it comes.
Touching into painful places ;I nourish them with warmth and light, courage and conviction, acceptance of what is.
Inhaling possibility, exhaling all that is done and gone.
One day at a time.
One step at a time.
One breath at a time.
Spending time in nature is not only good for our mental and physical wellbeing , its good for our soul. We were created to live in harmony with the natural world not to be seperated from it.
When you reconnect to this earth you belong too , you reconnect to a lost part of your own being.
Regular time spent engaging with the wildness of nature , observing its cycles , noting the effects of the weather , learning the cycles of growth and decay – puts you in touch with a much wider circle of life – it brings a greater understanding of our own innate being.
It allows you to become aquatinted with other. That which is other than human and to see how we are deeply interconnected to a wider web of living and life .
You begin to notice the similarities and differences in being and realise how diverse this marvellous creation called Earth, really is.
Thats why I trained as a Wild Therapist.
For me there is something that happens when we take healing connection outside and allow nature to become part of the process. Something profound takes place. Sometimes obvious , sometimes much more subtle – but things always move and shift.
Perspectives change. However temporarily. Room gets made for new connections. Space is created for exploration and enquiry , curiosity and playfulness.
We allow ourselves to drop deeper , tensions abate , breathing deepens , even in our raw edges and painful places we feel held by an invisible love.
A love we may not know yet. A love we may find hard to bare. But it is there.
The love from nature. Silently waiting for us to reach out to it .
Patiently waiting for us all to come home.
If you would like to explore this healing connection with nature in a therapeutic capacity contact Alexa at email@example.com or look at the Wild Wisdom page for more information.
A few months ago , back in the summer , the news was filled with the stories of the fires raging in the Amazon. Considered to be the lungs of the earth.
As more of the earth is being ravaged , we are experiencing alarming rates of species decline and extinction , loss of habitat , a decrease in bio diversity and as a changing climate creates more environmental uncertainty , world leaders feel unmoved to act in any meaningful capacity.
In truth the Amazon was not the only forest burning. There were bush fires raging across the globe due to drought , bad land management and will-full and deliberate slash and burn policies to clear land for agriculture, with no thought for the consequences. The recent bush fires claiming Australia bring the reality of our current crisis into sharp focus.
Our beautiful Earth is ruined. Her losses mount up day by day . The land erosion, the air & water pollution , the species extinction . By disconnecting the indigenous peoples from their lands , their cultures , their position of caretakers of the lands they were once custodians of , a great deal of important knowledge has been ignored. About maintaining balance in our world , about reciprocal relationship and interconnectedness . About taking only what we need and honouring the beings we share this Earth with for what they offer us in order for us to survive.
Capitalism took over and now we are reaping what we have sown . Whilst many cultures in all places this has happened , have been slowly re-building and re-generating their ancient wisdom and piecing together lost knowledge, adapting and seeking new ways to revive the old ways , change is slow to come. As a species , humans have lost their place in the natural world and everything has suffered as a result.
It leaves many of us overwhelmed. Anxious. Afraid for the future of our children and grand children. It leaves us numb and apathetic. It brings some of us waves of hope that we can change our current trajectory , followed by waves of despair when we realise just how much work there is yet to be done . Even if we collectively make a radical shift and did all the things we can possibly do right now to make the changes necessary – there is no guarantee it will make any difference. And I know many people , who have dedicated their lives to the cause of making positive changes to save this precious Earth , are themselves doubtful. We are facing difficult ,turbulent and challenging times ahead.
But there is always hope.
The solution for many is to fall in love again with the Earth. With our connection to each other. To land ,to place, to all the beings we live with; plant , animal , insect, fish, mountain ,river ,stone. What I call Landcestors. To remember them as kin. To re-kin-dle our relationship to life. Even if only to tend to the grieving and honouring of all that’s been lost and all that is dying. Even if only to make the most of what remains and to keep living and keep pushing for change. Because it matters and it might make a difference after all.
It was as I watched the Amazon burn and felt rather helpless to do anything useful to change things , that I felt inspired to find a creative response to share the experience. I was not the only one feeling the grief and the rage of living on a planet where people prioritise profit above life.
I wrote a single line and could write no more. I decided to share it on Facebook and Instagram and invite others to add their own verse. I collated each of them in the order I discovered them on the feeds and the result was a beautiful co -created prayer , an offering to the other than human , an acknowledgement of the situation , a healing balm.
This poem became a ritual for me for several days – each day I would offer a new verse to the world and once all contributions had been made – I went out into a wild place and performed the whole piece to the land. I offered the sorrow and the hopes.
And so here it is. With much appreciation and gratitude to the contributors – D.A.Tarot , Peter Yanowski , Soul Flower Sharon , Sarah Fay Taylor (Roots and Resonance ), Tracey Dean and Sharon Murphy.
Love song to a dying world
Today I’ll walk amongst the trees that aren’t on fire
to feel the presence of natures wisdom
and taste the charred messages
from this ancient kingdom.
Touching one tree
connecting to all
our roots go deep;
holding one another
we feel it all.
They in turn feel our love
and I allow my heart to open
and my healing love to flow
as I hold tightly to a vision
of the world remembering.
With desire to learn
and not witness humanity dissolve.
The forest cries out choked,
as feather meets ash ,fur and flesh
cleaved into the waters burning orange ,
as fire goes into spirit…
A stalking predator,
padding into the Throne Room of The Misguided,
walks beside me.
I will call out to the animals, the birds, the insects,
all the creatures who call to my soul asking… why?
what have we done?
We love you all unconditionally, can you love us this way too ?
Remember you are one of us ?
You don’t have to go far to look for the medicine you need, its often right on your door step ,or in your garden. Its in those flowers that keep catching your eye and those trees you keep being drawn to sit beneath .
It’s in those plants in fields you dismiss as weeds and in the energy of the woodland or moorland you are drawn to visit .
I have always had a connection with trees and plants long before I trained as an essence practitioner , learning to tune into the needs of others to discern the essences that can best support them come back to balance .
I’m often suddenly drawn on a whim ( though not by accident ! ) to create an essence that helps address a particular state I happen to be experiencing. I’ll have got stuck usually and be lost as to how I can move forward so I turn to the nature kingdom and my guides and ask if there is an essence I can take to help . Sometimes the reply will be to make one as the one I need doesn’t exist .
Last Autumn Equinox I was guided to make an essence from the energy of this time of transition, in my own garden. The process actually started two days before the equinox itself but it was part of the alchemy of the essence .
It was a windy tempestuous day full of sun then rain and wind and hail and cloud then blue skies . I was given a process to follow and I did . I wasn’t even sure at first what it was for or if it would “work”, but those intentions became clear as the making unfolded.
The next day was so still even the clouds didn’t move . No leaves moved . No breeze blew.No sounds in the space at all . All the chaos of the day before had dropped into absolute calm. And I sat hearing the traffic around me ,the turbulence of the world out side my garden and marvelled at the stillness , presence and calm within it .
As time passed and I noted the subtle signs of the environment around me , the messages of the energy of the space and it became clear the essence is to support us find calm in chaos , balance in turbulent times , our center when we are scattered.
It’s medicine from the Earth. She has all you need to heal .
I have used this essence numerous times when things seem to be moving too fast or become too hectic. It helps to settle and bring inner calm and a centred space , clearing confusion and helping bring clarity. Its supportive during seasonal transitions or when there is a shift into rapid movement that can overwhelm or disorient us.
We can learn so much from our world if we take time to listen and follow our inner prompts .
Sometimes in the process of change we hit the floor.
That’s not a euphemism, I mean sometimes we actually end up lying in a shaking , quivering heap on the floor unable to stop crying, unable to catch our breath , all alone and wondering how the fuck we get back up again .
How many more times do we have to fall to bits? How long till the next wave hits and wrecks our ship?
In recent times , I expect many have had this happen in seemingly endless waves , as more and more is being confronted . As more and more is being addressed personally and collectively.
We thought we’d seen the end of it – but one last bastard thing tried to kill us ,we thought we had had enough of this shit already , but apparently not .
Life had other plans for us .
And before the stuff we knew we needed could be let in – everything that we knew we didn’t need had to go .
Whether we liked it or not we either jumped in or we were pushed to face what we had been putting off.
What kept us so scared and frightened of doing it? what kept us clinging in fear? Our own fear of change .
But let go we did and….
Once we made it to the other side we saw it was actually not the awful, terrible thing we thought it was going to be.
What did we wait so long for ? Why did we struggle so much ? Why did we keep resisting what we knew needed to happen?
We waited because we needed to feel aligned with-in with what we were bringing out. We needed time to check in, make sure, double check , cover old ground , weed out the last bits and properly clear the ground.
We needed to grieve our losses and take comfort in our gains and in what remains.
Its been tough for lots of us one way or another.
Turns out this year has been a massive clear out of old baggage for the last time . A clean sweep. The loss of all that we really do not need anymore . Friendships , jobs , relationships . If it wasn’t helping it was hindering and won’t be coming back.
Big Karma has been clearing if you like. Its been a chance to say ‘nope, not doing that anymore , I want something different” and the cosmic back drop has been assisting us collectively to do this.
Dare we dream a new life into being collectively? Dare we rewrite the narrative , tear up the old and try something radically different ?
Dare we create a future where we survive and thrive in a more co-operative and mutually respectful society ?
Something better is coming our way – something new. Something needed. Something necessary for our future survival . Something new for Earth.
It is possible – the end of the old is coming – there will be a shift – a paradigm shift – it will take place . It is already happening.
What comes after that though is up to us – its dependant on the foundations we choose to lay . Do we take the opportunity to learn from the past and do it differently this time ?
I believe we will. We will sow the seeds in the ashes of whats left and something new will come . A new time of redressing the balance.
As the old celtic year threshold has been crossed and we walk through the veil between the old and the new year to come – we are in a place of either letting go and dying to the old or in a process of transforming and potentising whatever it is we wish to bring forth.
Can you feel it ?
Potent is definitely the energy of this time of year for me. Its a cauldron of energies mingling , mixing under the heat of the fire – distilling , condensing , brewing , alchemising .
I can feel the power of it as it bubbles away – waiting. Waiting for the perfect moment for it to be done. For the elixir to be ready to bring forth new beginnings, new life , new projects , new ventures.
Its been brewing for aeons. We have had to be patient. To wait. To stir and sit and test and taste the potion we have been concocting.
Tapping into a primordial , timeless space of creation – we begin at what appears to be the end . In a void . In darkness.
In the deep womb like cauldron of potential the sparks of atoms combining into form , take shape.
What are you alchemising? Transforming? Watching and waiting patiently to bring into being ?
What will you choose to create in the New Year to come ? what spark of light will you bring forth from the darkness to light up the world at the time of Winter Solstice – to carry through the next cycle of the seasonal year?
Its a time of deep resting , going within , travelling inward to receive and retrieve your dreams and visions.
Enjoy some stillness, slow down a little and allow yourself the opportunity to just be .
Enjoy the dark. Enjoy the quiet. Enjoy the pause. Enjoy the deep exhale as life breathes out and lets go before the next breath in.
In the darkness , life is dreaming with you.
Dream big. Bring forth a dream worthy of your power. Worthy of your best efforts. Worthy of the transformational shifts from what was to what will be.
For the benefit of all.
A new story for the earth is waiting to be dreamed into being . What thread will you bring to this Great Reweaving ?
What will you choose to be ? To do? To become ?
Take your time. Go gently.
Take care x
As those of you who have visited The Well of Belonging will be aware , I have a life long connection to and awareness of ‘Other’. That which is other than human. Land spirits, plant spirits, animal spirits. I have felt drawn towards exploring and discovering a deeper connection to the beings that co-exist with us on this earth and those that support us and work with us in the other realms.
A path that is often termed these days as Shamanism. Whilst I would say the way in which I work could be considered shamanic in nature , I do not and would not consider myself by any stretch of the imagination to be ‘A shaman’ .
Striclty speaking a true Shaman is one who is called by the spirits themselves , receives numerous initiations by them and is usually apprenticed to another in their lineage for a number of years before being allowed to call themselves Shaman. The spirits themselves decide if you are up to the job – one which is actually full of pitfalls and dangers and needs to be navigated with the utmost care and with full knowledge of what one is doing.
Shaman means ,one who knows. A shaman is often a well respected member of the community, whose life is dedicated to mediating between the human and spirit realms on behalf of both, to support the wellbeing of the place, the spirits and the people. To maintain harmony and balance for all concerned. You can’t become a shaman in a weekend. But you can utilise some of the practices, such as journeying, to enhance your own connections to your helpers, guides and teachers in spirit.
For a lot of people in Western cultures sadly, our connection to our native spiritual heritage was severed long ago with the advent of Christianity- and those who had the knowledge were either murdered or went into hiding. So we have had to patch together fragments from our oral history and combine them with borrowed practices from other cultures, likely to be similar to our own ancient practices and do our best to reconnect the threads of our spiritual and nature connected heritage .
There aren’t many who are connected to a lineage and most people, like myself are in effect taught through their relationship with their guides.
The majority of people in the modern world who are drawn to shamanism , those that aren’t part of an established tradition or culture, work within what is termed core shamanism- which is a set of practices gathered by western anthropologists studying other tribal cultures , that are utilised to help dissociated and disconnected westerners re-connect to their own innate capacity for relationship with beings beyond the physical , human realms.
One of the main ways of doing this that is often taught is Journeying. The prescribed method is to lie down , with eyes closed and listen to the repetitive beat of a drum and journey on its sound into the spirit realms of upper, middle and lower world. The concept and knowledge of these 3 realms is shared by all cultures across the globe.
You journey first to a beginning place , somewhere that has a familiar counter part to a place you know well in this realm. Then you ask for a guide to connect with who will be your helper and obviously , guide, around the inner realms. Time is spent forming a relationship with these guides before you are then ready to be taken to the access point for the Lower, Middle and Upper realms. Usually the most common presentation representing these 3 worlds is the World Tree. The roots represent connection to the Lower world. The trunk Middle world and the branches the Upper World.
Some people connect to this practice very well and very easily – but it requires an ability to be able to both be relaxed in body and mind enough to leave this world behind, whilst remaining conscious of what is happening, so you can bring back the information /healing you need. It is essentially dreaming whilst being awake.
But this isn’t the only way to journey , nor is it the only way to find or strengthen your connection to your own guides, helpers and other realms. Its a method I’ve found quite frustrating and difficult because it doesn’t always happen the way its described.
There is a big emphasis on the visual aspect of the journey and of seeing what is going on – but not everyone sees clear images of what is taking place.Some experience the journey as a purely physical event -with bodily sensations providing the information. Some see only colours or hear messages.
Every one is different and so it makes sense that we will each have our own method.At the end of the day the purpose is to learn to work with your own guides and helpers and not everyone is destined to travel between the realms this way . I spent years wasting time being overly concerned with getting it right , until I eventually gave in and accepted the fact that this way, may not be my way, and my guides and helpers will show me what I need to know , in ways that work for me .
Some people, like me , can’t travel to the sound of a drum beat , its too loud and intrusive for me to be able to relax enough. So I don’t bother with it . The drum beat is there to help you shift your brain waves from one state to another so you enter into a state of consciousness that is between waking and sleeping. But there are many ways of doing this.
Some people can do it at will , some do it with breath, some do it with meditation, some do it with rattles . I find silence and stillness quite helpful. Singing and chanting is another good way. Dreaming is another way of learning to journey.
One of the ways that works very well for me and no doubt lots of creative types , is though creating art. I find working with story, a very powerful way of journeying, that brings imagery and language together to bring awareness of what needs to be healed . Creativity using the imagination offers a way to connect with and bring back information from the spirit realms to this one. For many people, the creating of the art work is the Journey.
So here, I offer the second of the images from the Journey cards series , as well as a Journey Poem I have been given permission by my guides to share with you.
Old Mother Raven
came to my door ,
to tell me of wisdom and ancient law.
Dressed in fine feathers, with eyes darkest black,
she cawed to invite me on a journey ,
To the land of my ancestors,
in story and song,
with magic there,
weaving a place a I belong.
With a sky full of stars
and a moon nearly new,
together through time
the two of us flew.
”The shape of your destiny, is still to be told.
Honour the learning and power you hold.
Dream of a vision the world can behold.
Be daring! Be brave !Be courageous! Be bold!”
My next offering will be a series of artworks I created for use as Journey Cards. Each of the images were created with the help of my guides and helpers in Otherworld, the beings of the elemental realms and local places in nature that are willing to offer their energy and support as a way of encouraging us humans to re-connect with our oldest ancestor- the very Earth upon which we live.
They want us to know that we are not living here alone – we are part of a vast web of consciousness that is interrelated and interconnected – and we always have been.
As humanity has raced ahead with its technological advancement we have left behind and forgotten our roots, our real family, our true place in the cosmos, our only home. We have forgotten how to dream, how to journey to connect with the other than human. We have been torn from our Sacred heritage and understanding of the seasons and the natural cycles of birth, life and death and the rituals and ceremonies that honour them and in so doing, remind us of our role as stewards and guardians of the Earth.
Imagery is a powerful way to connect to our subconscious memories and to open us to our source of deep connection through the psyche and the intuitive senses. We put our rational minds to one side and allow ourselves to sit in stillness and open to the language of the Soul . We allow ourselves to been shown what it is we need to see, in the mirror of the image and we allow what comes to lead us on a journey of discovery, to the medicine we need .
Fire is our oldest ally. Our most ancient human ancestors learned to create fire to keep warm, ward off anything that might want to eat us, to cleanse with smoke and burn away with heat the dross so it can be transformed.
We learned to cook food with fire.We learned how to use it to create healing medicines by heating the plants in water to bring out their medicinal properties and we learned how to use it to heat metals and alloys to craft tools and weapons.
Fire, as an ancestor, has kept us alive and given us many inspirations to help us to thrive and evolve. We owe much to this humble element. By connecting to its energy we can learn a great deal about the fire in our own being and we can contemplate how its nature has shaped our own .
I call this Card – The Ancestors- and it holds the energy of the fire element in the South (or East direction of the medicine wheel for me, depending on which circle I am working in).
In the Old traditions of Britain the Element of Fire was placed in the South, however when I began to work with the Goddess in circle, I was told to place Fire in the East.
You may place it somewhere else entirely. It’s actually a very interesting exercise to consider each element, in each direction and see what this reveals to you.
As you may know if you have been following my Facebook page , I have set myself a challenge to share one creative post a day to help me to both connect with my self and my own creativity and to reach out more to you.
I was having a look for something that felt like it wanted to be shared. Something that had energy and relevance at this point in time and I came across the following poem and painting .
The Painting was something I did following one of the ERT training weekends . One of the body areas and character positions we learnt about is the Boundary Position and the Boundary Character.
This area is located in the top part of the head and includes the eyes and brings up material relating to our experiences whilst we are gestating in the womb, prior to us coming into the world , our birthing experiences and the effect that has on us and the period from birth, relating to our bonding with care givers and the world around us . Working with this area can bring up issues/difficulties with making/creating/maintaining healthy attachment to others , trauma related to being born, pre-conscious issues of contact, connection, safety and belonging and later issues of how we keep and maintain our own personal and energetic boundaries with others or not.
There is initially no boundary between a mother and her unborn child. They are one . What effects the mother affects the child .We come into the world already imprinted with the energy of the environment our developing form was exposed too, from our mothers experiences of her own inner/outer worlds and the effect this has on her, physically, emotionally, psychologically and psychically, including the people and places she is exposed too and the ways in which she relates and is related to.
We are formed from the DNA of both parents and so we inherit cellular memories from them and our ancestors in our genetic make-up. This genetic imprint will inform the basis of our developing personality and character without our conscious awareness. Something that I found deeply fascinating.
That those who have now gone, possibly generations before us , who we may never have known or met in this life , can have an influence on who we become. With some aspects only occurring randomly because those specific DNA keys happened to be activated as the cells we were to become, began to divide. We are a totally unique signature of this latent genetic information, passed down in the atoms of our parents to us. Its why siblings can often have such different characters and personalities despite coming from the same home and environment.
I remember my mum showing a black and white photograph once of a young woman dressed in 1800’s clothing – I was a bit shocked to see my cousin , who isn’t usually found wearing a dress of any description, in a lace collared pinafore dress and smart shoes. Had she started modelling ? Had my uncle started another photographic project ? As it happened , as you may have guessed, the photo wasn’t actually of my cousin at all. It was of my Great-Great Aunt Rose I f I remember rightly – who my cousin just happened to look identical too. It was slightly spooky to see the two in photos side by side – one face from the past and one from the present as though aunt Rose had popped into a Tardis and time travelled to the 1990’s 100 or so years after dying.
Its not just our looks that are influenced but our whole way of being in the world . Which traits from our ancestry do we have affecting our experience of life at this moment in time? whose humour did we inherit ? whose skills and abilities are present ? whose undesirable personality quirks do we have the misfortune of being stuck with?
Which brings me on to the poem that accompanies the picture. This was done months later , on a whim, as a fleeting moment of inspiration drifted into my awareness whilst I contemplated writing an article about Flower Essences and how they help us to work through our ingrained and habitual patterns , some of which we bring here karmically and ancestrally.
The energetic blueprint of all that has gone before in our family line is coded into the very fabric of our own energy system , offering those of us who have come here to help heal this material for our past and future generations, an opportunity to do so. Often guided into a path of serving others initially and then one of discovering various modes of healing and energy work, at some point, we will discover we are experiencing material that doesn’t feel as if it is directly our own and yet it is also our own.
It has been unconsciously working itself out through us , until such a time that we are able to consciously work with it – with the awareness that it belongs to a lineage, not an individual. This forms part of the lessons we have come here to learn and the knowledge we have come here to activate and utilise as the worlds decent into catastrophe and greater imbalance, forces the need for us all to do our own inner work to help bring the balance back.
As we work through these old stories we have a chance to rewrite the code for ourselves and those who come after us. What we heal in ourselves we heal for everyone connected to our line.
So here is todays creative offering , I hope you enjoy it .
Long before you were born
The story was written,
long before you were born.
The threads were woven through your soul,
weaving their way through your dreams
Deeply rooted through the cosmos
back to the stars from where you came.
And when you look upon the night sky,
When you swim with the tides,
ebbing and flowing…
and gaze at the mountain,
Bathe in the sunlight,
Breathing the air ,
living and growing.
You awaken the flame in your soul,
That the story was written,
long before you were born.
Imagine you are made up of a majestic hand woven tapestry- created with a unique design that is yours and yours alone. This is a living work of creation, of you, as a human being, which began to be woven long before you were born and continues to be woven every day of your life. Every experience you encounter, every disappointment you face, every set back, every victory every milestone – is woven into the fabric of your being.
Some parts of it are vibrant, richly coloured, intricately sewn from fine strong fibres – this represents the most whole aspects of your being.
Some areas are a little dusty, some of the threads are frayed or broken, some places have holes in or are threadbare and fading – these are the areas that represent the older forgotten parts of you, the bits you haven’t taken as good care of. You can still see the design in the tapestry but it’s a little dull.
And then there are the areas that have been knotted , torn , ripped , shredded, burnt , stood on , scuffed , trampled and covered in layers of dirt and mud and grime – here you can barely see the pattern to discern where one bit ends and another begins . These areas on your tapestry represent your wounding and your trauma.
Some parts of the tapestry seem to have other people’s threads tangled up in them – or there appears to be a pattern that has been locked into ours that doesn’t belong to us – as though someone snuck in and took over what was being created without our knowledge and without realising, we carried on with the design.
Some places have threads that have snagged and got so tangled up that no further design is possible until the thread is undone or cut out and rewoven.
Working with essences is like lifting the dirt off the tapestry, mending the broken threads and restoring the whole thing to its most brilliant, vibrant original form. A little bit at a time. Piece by piece. Thread by thread. Layer by layer.
They allow us to slowly piece back together the missing parts, fill in the holes, and re-weave threads of our liking and choosing to create a tapestry free of others design ideas and ill-fitting threads.
They are an amazing doorway to discovering exactly what is you and what is not you. What you need and what you don’t need. They help to uncover and clear the energetic imprint of our trauma, our limiting beliefs, the emotional and mental patterning that has formed who we are based on the energy we grew up in and around.
They do this by enabling us to return to a state of natural balance by correcting the energetic imprint or thread if you like.
Whilst training as an Essence Practitioner and using essences on a regular basis, lots of small changes have taken place. I am still who I am, but the shifts in perception and awareness of my life story and patterns of what I have experienced have subtly altered and expanded as new insights and understanding have filtered through.
There have been challenging emotions and shadow aspects of my being to confront. Boundary issues to work on, trauma to heal and release, unprocessed anger to work on in a way that puts the energy to creative rather than disruptive or destructive use.
Essences have supported me to be much more grounded in my body but not without first working through the blocks and wounding that caused me to be out of my body in the first place.
They have put me more in touch with emotions I dared not acknowledge or allow myself to feel in the past. My vulnerability and sensitivity. My inner strength and resolve.
They have helped me learn from my past mistakes, acknowledge the limits of what I can and cannot do and what is and isn’t possible. My mind is calmer, my thoughts clearer. I am more able to allow myself to follow my own natural, rhythmic flow of fullness and emptiness without constantly trying to change it.
Having essences to help us is like having a circle of really good trusted allies who will build you up, support you and encourage you but who will also call you on your bull . Let you know when you’re not being honest or truthful with yourself, in a very gentle and loving way and show you what you might not be seeing or may have missed so you can have a broader, clearer more truthful perception of yourself and the world you live in.
Learning to select essences for others has been a deeply rewarding and enlightening experience. One that has shown me without doubt that we are not alone in our human struggles and the Earth we live on is patiently waiting for us to reconnect with her and make use of the abundance of healing she has to offer, if only we would turn to her for support.
Learning to tune into nature and create essences from the plants and crystals really opens up this connection to a new level as nature connection can be a valuable mirror to our own soul.
Having the opportunity to integrate principals of Embodied Relational Therapy with flower essence consultations has deepened my capacity to connect and relate to both the client and the essences and work more deeply with issues that arise.
Not solely through talking and questioning but through tuning in to the clients energy and prescribing essences that relate to the issues the client is bringing. Some of which they may not be fully aware of.
This allows for supporting others very deeply , without necessarily needing them to say very much or for them to even know what it is they need.
It means working with people who may not be able to specifically identify an issue, or who have several issues that interlink, a little easier as a therapist and also means the client, through using essences to support where they are at that time, can begin to reach a place of clarity on their own process and identify what within them is needing most attention.
By paying attention to a client’s unfolding process through what the essences bring up to clear, support can be offered to match the shifts and transitions a client is going through and space can be held to support the integration of the new energies, insights and understanding that arises.
Seeing people blossom as a result of working with the natural energy of flowers, gems, elements and specific natural environments, seeing how much more quickly people shift through their blocks, stuck-ness and wounding to embody more of their own true soul nature has been an amazing honour to witness.
I’ve particularly enjoyed working longer term over several sessions with people who are looking for ways to find more harmony and balance between themselves and their lives as they navigate transitional periods and times of deep change.
Having an Essence Practitioner to work with allows you to be held and safely supported throughout your time taking the essences. Carefully select essences alongside you means not only are the issues you are aware of being addressed but any subtler , underlying issues can be picked up and gently woven into the healing too.
Having the expertise and skills of a trained counsellor and therapist means you are able to be supported in a deeper process of unfolding if you wish to work longer term or on longer standing , recurrent issues. and core wounding patterns.
The combination of Essences and therapeutic support means our issues can often be worked through more quickly than talking therapies alone.
I am offering Flower essence consultations at present for anyone who may be interested in working with the essences either in person , by telephone or video .Please contact me for further details using the contact page or via messenger on my Facebook Page Space for Nature.
This blog was first written for My Essence Practitioner Tutor Jackie Stewart and appeared on her Blog at www.Flowerspirit.co.uk as an introduction to working with essences for her Flower Essence Practitioner Training Course.
As I type this title, a wave of sadness flows through my right shoulder and rib cage. An anxious feeling jingles the cells in the same place. My breathing is short and shallow and my right hand begins to shake. My arm shakes. I have butterflies in my belly, my throat is tightening and I can feel tears coming and going in waves. Is this safe ?
I take a deep breath and a voice within says ‘yes’.
I wait a few moments to settle into safety and a gentle calm flows over me. An inner nurturing protector steps in to hold the fragile part of me that is afraid to let you in, that is afraid to let you know what the gentle child within me wishes you to see.
That she is here. That she is tired of being alone ‘out there’ on the edges, alone in her vulnerability and sensitivity, not knowing where to turn for comfort and reassurance. And I feel a stabbing in my heart and tears prickling the edges of my eyes but I don’t and won’t cry.
My adult self says ‘now is not the time’. There are things to do. Work to go to. Jobs to be done . Later. When there is time.
I check in with the vulnerable child and sense the disappointment. Yet again she must wait to be seen and be heard . Yet again there is no time for her. I see myself in my minds eye, with my inner child on my lap, holding her. I tell her I will be with her, I will tell her story soon but for now I need to get to work .I tell her that I love her, I haven’t forgotten her and I promise we will speak again soon .
I feel the warmth in my heart swell. I sense her again, not so disappointed, looking forward to being with me again. I sense the anxiety mixed with apprehension – wanting to believe that I will , but afraid I may forget my promise …again.
She needs to speak, to be let in.
I feel the sadness and disappointment of the birthday party that never happened .
The tears cried alone behind closed doors.
The days spent wandering the playground by myself – looking out and seeing the connection that I do not have as though I live behind an invisible wall that you cannot see beyond. Wondering why you wont come near me. Do not see me, like I am not here. I feel invisible like a ghost but I am not a ghost. I am here.
She speaks to me -‘ You all exist in a world beyond me and I don’t know how to reach out, to connect, to belong. I feel my brothers loss of his mother, I feel my fathers grief at losing a wife, my mother trying to keep strong and keep going even though she is dying.
I saw it in my dreams; I was with her and she was dying. I feel everything in the space around me, all you never say. I see into your eyes and know your soul but I cannot say a word of it aloud. I know. I always knew. I know you don’t see what I see. I am sad. I am alone.
I get in the car to travel to work and she is still here, still talking, making sure I don’t forget.
I ask her why she left me – she corrects me – ‘I didn’t leave, you left me out. You hurt and couldn’t let me in. I am 5 and 9 and 7 and 6 but mostly 4 –and I am clever! I teached myself to ride a bike and how to swim, I like music and dancing and winning. I am good at winning but I can’t always win but I like it. I write good stories and I am very clever.’
I nearly don’t type this part because it feels silly to my adult self, but my inner child is not happy – am I ashamed of her? This is her part of the story, why do I not want to share? I promised. So it stays.
I smile and feel a great warmth and affection for my younger self who has waited all this time to be seen – recognised –validated. I tell her I know how clever she is .How I still like winning and remind her of all the times we won – she says she always knew when she would win and when she wouldn’t, she was sometimes a bit upset but it didn’t matter because sometimes other people have to win too. .
And I slowly let her in. I let her speak. I listen to what it is she needs my grown up self to know . I give her the recognition she never had . I give her the encouragement she never got. I tell her I know how clever she is and how brave she is and that I know she has been on her own for a very long time and I am sorry for leaving her out.
I notice a shift in my energy – she is pleased. she is happy and glad that I have listened to her. She is not sad or disappointed anymore. She is pleased I am not scared anymore to let her in. That I am not afraid to feel how she has felt. It has been so long, I had forgotten how deeply sensitive I was, how much more I used to feel, how much it ached to be in the world.
She holds that part of me that is sensitive to everyone around her – empathic and compassionate. Vulnerable and impressionable to the energy around her . She is my childhood self that knew how to be gentle, vulnerable and soft and did not try to change it , but allowed it to be felt.
She is wanting to return – to be allowed in – the protector has been keeping her out .
She says it’s the wrong way round – protector inside keeping her out- it should be her inside, protector outside keeping us all safe. I tell her she’s right …. She knows I didn’t know until now – she says its ok. In all her childhood innocence she is infinitely wise, compassionate and forgiving.
I sense there are essences I need to take to help this child part of me integrate into my adult self – to address the apprehension and anxiety and the wounds of an abandoned, forgotten child in distress – I choose Aspen and Heather and Star of Bethlehem . 3 is a good number she adds. I was born on a 3 day .
As the day continues to pass , I feel the emotions my inner child was unable to express and feel them shift until we have become one whole person. I sense there is still some work to be done to fully integrate the gentle vulnerability that has been waiting so long to return .
There is a negotiation with the protectors to keep the child within me safe.
This child self is no longer on the edges of my being. No longer all alone.
She has returned to me. She has been seen. She has been heard. She has been nurtured and protected and she is once again a part of me.
We are together again- this part of me no longer existing as a child out of time .