Day Dreaming

I am sat in my garden admiring the stillness and the warm glow of the rising sun as it peers over my fence and illuminates the lemon balm.

The sky is azure blue and cloudless and I sit in my hammock as the East is ablaze with a full round sun , blinding to gaze upon.

I am sitting with polarities. The polarity between grace and rage in these turbulent times . I am aware that I am aching to connect.

What I miss is connection. Connection with depth. The rich soul depth of true contact with another being.

I swim in rich internal pools of wonder and longing , naive and guileless, full of childlike wonder and innocence. I marvel at newly spun webs on the ash , the filaments of rainbow light that appear through cracks as I squint my eyes.

I am flighty and skittish – easily spooked. A foal finding her legs. I am often clumsy in the way I take to this body and its place on the earth. I often stumble about until something clicks and I can prance and throw my head as I skip and frolick , jerkily moving more life into my body and my limbs .Free yet contained and constrained by the physical limitations, a part of me confused as to why I can only expand to fill up so much space.

I can not be everywhere as I wish to be. I cannot fully touch the all that is . I can only anchor in a small part of this universe and it feels a little … uncomfortable …uncertain.

I am not sure if I like it or care for it much . It is alien to a part of me that has been to the sun and knows the cosmos as a brother. I feel estranged and forgotten and abandoned down here – where are they ?

They have left me with friends they say;

“With the trees and with mountain, with forrest and with hill

They will look after you.

With flowers and river and ocean, they will comfort you

With wind and with rain and with fire, they will welcome you, nourish you, revive you” they say , but still i am lost and my heart aches for the stars that are my home.

In the stillness of morning before the raucus caw of gul and crow and the quiet song of the morning birds, I hear the static of the atmoshpere warming as the Sun ascends on the horizon. I hear the fizz of atoms heating up. I feel the energetic shift from cool still night to dawning day .

I hear it crackle imperceptibly all around me . It’s this invisible sound that stirs and wakes my sleeping body each new day. Its magnetic pull that lulls me from the dream of sleep to the lucidity of wakefullness.

It leaves a heaviness , a sadness , of a soul returned to its box . I try not to let this realisation dampen my day but it feels like dead weight i can not bear to carry.

I look up and remember the sun , lazily surfacing over the rooftops and feel it lighten my being . I feel the joy and energy of life in my heart. Excitement and possibilities come to my window and invite me to play.

And I sit between the ache of longing for what cannot be and the joy of what can be created.

I sit between the darkness and the dawn wishing to be lifted back into the sun

Back into the earth

Back into the world

Back into life

And i carry with me both joy and sorrow

Belonging and loss

Fire and water

Strength and tenderness

Fear and courage

Hope and hopelessness

Grace and rage

And i take each day as it comes.

Touching into painful places ;I nourish them with warmth and light, courage and conviction, acceptance of what is.

I breathe.

Inhaling possibility, exhaling all that is done and gone.

One day at a time.

One step at a time.

One breath at a time.

Beginning at the end

Sometimes in the process of change we hit the floor.

That’s not a euphemism, I mean sometimes we actually end up lying in a shaking , quivering heap on the floor unable to stop crying, unable to catch our breath , all alone and wondering how the fuck we get back up again .

How many more times do we have to fall to bits? How long till the next wave hits and wrecks our ship?

In recent times , I expect many have had this happen in seemingly endless waves , as more and more is being confronted . As more and more is being addressed personally and collectively.

We thought we’d seen the end of it – but one last bastard thing tried to kill us ,we thought we had had enough of this shit already , but apparently not .

Life had other plans for us .

And before the stuff we knew we needed could be let in – everything that we knew we didn’t need had to go .

Whether we liked it or not we either jumped in or we were pushed to face what we had been putting off.

Letting go.

What kept us so scared and frightened of doing it? what kept us clinging in fear? Our own fear of change .

But let go we did and….

Once we made it to the other side we saw it was actually not the awful, terrible thing we thought it was going to be.

What did we wait so long for ? Why did we struggle so much ? Why did we keep resisting what we knew needed to happen?

We waited because we needed to feel aligned with-in with what we were bringing out. We needed time to check in, make sure, double check , cover old ground , weed out the last bits and properly clear the ground.

We needed to grieve our losses and take comfort in our gains and in what remains.

Its been tough for lots of us one way or another.

Turns out this year has been a massive clear out of old baggage for the last time . A clean sweep. The loss of all that we really do not need anymore . Friendships , jobs , relationships . If it wasn’t helping it was hindering and won’t be coming back.

Big Karma has been clearing if you like. Its been a chance to say ‘nope, not doing that anymore , I want something different” and the cosmic back drop has been assisting us collectively to do this.

Dare we dream a new life into being collectively? Dare we rewrite the narrative , tear up the old and try something radically different ?

Dare we create a future where we survive and thrive in a more co-operative and mutually respectful society ?

Something better is coming our way – something new. Something needed. Something necessary for our future survival . Something new for Earth.

It is possible – the end of the old is coming – there will be a shift – a paradigm shift – it will take place . It is already happening.

What comes after that though is up to us – its dependant on the foundations we choose to lay . Do we take the opportunity to learn from the past and do it differently this time ?

I believe we will. We will sow the seeds in the ashes of whats left and something new will come . A new time of redressing the balance.

As the old celtic year threshold has been crossed and we walk through the veil between the old and the new year to come – we are in a place of either letting go and dying to the old or in a process of transforming and potentising whatever it is we wish to bring forth.

Can you feel it ?

Potent is definitely the energy of this time of year for me. Its a cauldron of energies mingling , mixing under the heat of the fire – distilling , condensing , brewing , alchemising .

I can feel the power of it as it bubbles away – waiting. Waiting for the perfect moment for it to be done. For the elixir to be ready to bring forth new beginnings, new life , new projects , new ventures.

Its been brewing for aeons. We have had to be patient. To wait. To stir and sit and test and taste the potion we have been concocting.

Tapping into a primordial , timeless space of creation – we begin at what appears to be the end . In a void . In darkness.

In the deep womb like cauldron of potential the sparks of atoms combining into form , take shape.

What are you alchemising? Transforming? Watching and waiting patiently to bring into being ?

What will you choose to create in the New Year to come ? what spark of light will you bring forth from the darkness to light up the world at the time of Winter Solstice – to carry through the next cycle of the seasonal year?

Its a time of deep resting , going within , travelling inward to receive and retrieve your dreams and visions.

Enjoy some stillness, slow down a little and allow yourself the opportunity to just be .

Enjoy the dark. Enjoy the quiet. Enjoy the pause. Enjoy the deep exhale as life breathes out and lets go before the next breath in.

In the darkness , life is dreaming with you.

Dream big. Bring forth a dream worthy of your power. Worthy of your best efforts. Worthy of the transformational shifts from what was to what will be.

For the benefit of all.

A new story for the earth is waiting to be dreamed into being . What thread will you bring to this Great Reweaving ?

What will you choose to be ? To do? To become ?

Take your time. Go gently.

Take care x

Alexa đź’—

Wildness

They asked me how I knew , if no one taught me ?

Simple , I said.

I listened

to the whispers of the wind.

I watched

the flight of birds.

I observed

the patterns of the weather

And the seasons.

I followed the rivers flow.

I noticed how the animals moved.

I paid attention to the trees.

I felt the changes

in the air

and the earth

Beneath my feet.

I remembered my dreams

And took notice of my visions .

I spoke to the landscape, to the old ones of the forests and wild spaces.

I heard the world

speaking to me

in a thousand different voices

and

I listened.

Copyright The Well of Belonging

The Journey

As those of you who have visited The Well of Belonging will be aware , I have a life long connection to and awareness of  ‘Other’. That which is other than human. Land spirits, plant spirits, animal spirits. I have felt drawn towards exploring and discovering a deeper connection to the beings that co-exist with us on this earth and those that support us and work with us in the other realms.

A path that is  often termed these days as Shamanism. Whilst I would say the way in which I work could be considered shamanic in nature , I do not and would not consider myself by any stretch of the imagination to be ‘A shaman’ .

Striclty speaking a true Shaman is one who is called by the spirits themselves , receives numerous initiations by them and is usually apprenticed to another in their lineage for a number of years before being allowed to call themselves Shaman. The spirits themselves decide if you are up to the job – one which is actually full of pitfalls and dangers and needs to be navigated with the utmost care and with full knowledge of what one is doing.

Shaman means ,one who knows. A shaman is often a well respected member of the community, whose life is dedicated to mediating between the human and spirit realms on behalf of both, to support the wellbeing of the place, the spirits and the people. To maintain harmony and balance for all concerned. You can’t become a shaman in a weekend. But you can utilise some of the practices, such as journeying, to enhance your own connections to your helpers, guides and teachers in spirit.

For a lot of people in Western cultures sadly, our connection to our native spiritual heritage was severed long ago with the advent of Christianity- and those who had the knowledge were either murdered or went into hiding. So we have had to patch together fragments from our oral history and combine them with borrowed practices from other cultures, likely to be similar to our own ancient practices and do our best to reconnect the threads of our spiritual and nature connected heritage .
There aren’t many who are connected to a lineage and most people, like myself are in effect taught through their relationship with their guides.

The majority of people in the modern world who are drawn to shamanism , those that aren’t part of an established tradition or culture, work within what is termed core shamanism- which is a set of practices gathered by western anthropologists studying other tribal cultures , that are utilised to help  dissociated and disconnected westerners re-connect to their own innate capacity for relationship with beings beyond the physical , human realms.

One of the main ways of doing this that is often taught is Journeying. The prescribed method is to lie down , with eyes closed and listen to the repetitive beat of a drum and journey on its sound into the spirit realms of upper, middle and lower world. The concept and knowledge of these 3 realms is shared by all cultures across the globe.

You journey first to a beginning place , somewhere that has a familiar counter part to a place you know well in this realm. Then you ask for a guide to connect with who will be your helper and obviously , guide, around the inner realms. Time is spent forming a relationship with these guides before you are then ready to be taken to the access point for the Lower, Middle and Upper realms. Usually the most common presentation representing these 3 worlds is the World Tree. The roots represent connection to the Lower world. The trunk Middle world  and the branches the Upper World.

Some people connect to this practice very well and very easily – but it requires an ability to be able to both be relaxed in body and mind enough to leave this world behind, whilst remaining conscious of what is happening, so you can bring back the information /healing you need. It is essentially dreaming whilst being awake.

But this isn’t the only way to journey , nor is it the only way to find or strengthen your connection to your own guides, helpers and other realms. Its a method I’ve found quite frustrating and difficult because it doesn’t always happen the way its described.

There is a big emphasis on the visual aspect of the journey and of seeing what is going on – but not everyone sees clear images of what is taking place.Some experience the journey as a purely physical event -with bodily sensations providing the information. Some see only colours or hear messages.

Every one is different and so it makes sense that we will each have our own method.At the end of the day the purpose is to learn to work with your own guides and helpers and not everyone is destined to travel between the realms this way . I spent years wasting time being overly concerned with getting it right , until I eventually gave in and accepted the fact that this way, may not be my way, and my guides and helpers will show me what I need to know , in ways that work for me .

Some people, like me , can’t travel to the sound of a drum beat , its too loud and intrusive for me to be able to relax enough. So I don’t bother with it . The drum beat is there to help you shift your brain waves from one state to another so you enter into a state of consciousness that is between waking and sleeping. But there are many ways of doing this.

Some people can do it at will , some do it with breath, some do it with meditation, some do it with rattles . I find silence and stillness  quite helpful. Singing and chanting is another good way. Dreaming is another way of learning to journey.

One of the ways that works very well for me and no doubt lots of creative types , is though  creating art. I find working with story, a very powerful way of journeying, that brings imagery and language together to bring awareness of what needs to be healed . Creativity using the imagination offers  a way to connect with and bring back information from the spirit realms  to this one. For many people, the creating of the art work is the Journey.

So here, I offer the second of the images from the Journey cards series , as well as a Journey Poem I have been given permission by my guides to share with you.

 

The Journey

Old Mother Raven

came to my door ,

to tell me of wisdom and ancient law.

Dressed in fine feathers, with eyes darkest black,

she cawed to invite me on a journey ,

way back.

To the land of my ancestors,

in story and song,

with magic there,

weaving a place a I belong.

With a sky full of stars

and a moon nearly new,

together through time

the two of us flew.

”The shape of your destiny, is still to be told.

Honour the learning and power you hold.

Dream of a vision the world can behold.

Be daring! Be brave !Be courageous! Be bold!”

frame4ravensglamour13.jpg300dpi2
As Above, So Below- Copyright The Well of Belonging 2018